Of course I did

I knew she was there. I never saw her face, but that part of me that knows things did. Mom passed her several times at the grocery store. Never looking at her, never noticing...but I did. Mom finally got me to sleep in my stroller while she was shopping. I was never this hard to put down, but today it was like I was trying to stay awake for something. I finally gave up and closed my eyes. It was then that Mom saw her. The young woman brushed past the bagel case and the light clicked on Mom's face. Mom walked up behind her slowly and waited for confirmation. Once the young woman turned, Mom scrambled for her name due to the surprise of the situation, shocked to see her here. When they had first met, this woman was planning on moving away at the end of last July. How was she here? Mom froze and suddenly screamed out once she got over the coincidence, "Tracy!" The young woman turned around grinned and she and Mom exchanged hugs and this and thats. When the young woman peeked in my stroller and remarked how much I had grown, my eyes popped awake from a deep sleep. I just stared at Mom and then turned my head to see her. When our eyes met, I smiled at Miss Tracy like I have never smiled before. It made Miss Tracy and Mom cry. (Eyeroll) You see, Miss Tracy was my very first NICU nurse. I knew her because hers was the face I saw while I was poked and prodded and encouraged to breathe, to live. She soothed while others hurt. Miss Tracy is the one who let Mom sob next to my hospital bed without telling her to cheer up or make her feel in the way. Miss Tracy encouraged me to eat and reported my progress to Mom and Dad each time I ate another milliliter. Calling at all hours of the night to report something, anything positive. Miss Tracy called to tell us that some mysterious "stranger" must have put mittens on me after Mom was upset that no one would cut my nails. I had been clawing and scratching my face to pieces. (Miss Tracy, I saw you do it when you thought I was sleeping). . Miss Tracy was the one who whispered "don't let them do that to him" to my parents when the doctors wanted to repeatedly stick me with needles because the lab wasn't doing their job correctly. She knew my parents were the only ones who could stop that nonsense, and they did. And Miss Tracy was the one who agreed with Mom that the one thing good about the old days was that you could have a baby who was different, but you could go on living life and maybe never even know it. That sometimes the truth doesn't just hurt, it hurts so very much. And finally, Miss Tracy was the first person who reminded Mom that I was a miracle and not a statistic. Thank you Miss Tracy for being my first advocate. And yes Miss Tracy I did "just look at you like I remembered you", because I did.